God Is Bigger

     I started this blog a few years ago to document my journey into photography. I've always had an interest in photography, and had recently discovered a passion for photographing people. I began photographing my friends and their families as a hobby and more and more people kept encouraging me to start my own business. I thought they were silly. You see,  I was working full time as a preschool teacher and I loved my job. Teaching was my passion and I was lucky enough to work with some great people at a really special school. Anyone who knows anything about teaching, knows that it is not a 9 to 5 job. Granted, it was preschool, so I didn't have any papers to bring home and grade but I did have games to make, pictures to cut out, and lesson plans to work on. I was constantly bringing work home in the evenings and I really didn't think it would be possible to find the time it would take to start a photography business. It was a nice dream, but that's all it was and I thought it would stay that way.

     Looking back now, I can see that God was sending me hints all along the way that he had something else in store for me. Although I didn't realize it at the time, he provided a way for me to develop my skill and photographic style through the work that I did at the school. I was always taking pictures of the children in my class to document their learning and growth and from those pictures, I was asked to contribute my photography skills to many projects around the building. I also started having the parents of the students ask me to take their family pictures. I used this blog to post some of those photos, but still didn't take the idea of me being a photographer serious. (There are so many other ways God provided for my growth during this time.I can't even begin to tell you all of them here. Just know that there were subtle things happening that I wasn't even aware of .)

     When I had my daughter in 2011 and lost my job while I was home on maternity leave, my wonderful, supportive husband thought it would be the perfect time for me to start my photography business and encouraged me to stay home with the baby and focus on photography. I, however, still couldn't wrap my head around the idea. I mean, I was a teacher. I am a teacher. For 22 years, that was how I described myself. I was not a photographer. Yes, I take great pictures and have an artistic eye. Yes, I have numerous people requesting for me to take their pictures even though I have never advertised. But I had doubts and my lack of confidence sidelined me. I didn't have the right equipment (a professional camera) and I didn't go to school to be a photographer (one college photography class, but mostly self taught). Who would want to hire me? I felt like calling myself a photographer and charging people for my time and talent would make me an impostor.

     God was still working, though. This past spring, it came down to me considering going back to work. I was so discouraged with my photography. My camera wasn't functioning properly and as a result I felt like the poor results were a lack of skill on my part. I really needed a new camera but just didn't have the money and so I truly considered giving up and teaching again. I thought, maybe I'm not supposed to go in to photography. Maybe it's just not what God has planned for me. Then, out of nowhere (and within two days of each other) I received a pretty large amount of money from two separate sources both with the instructions that it was to be used to invest in my photography. That same week, I started a new bible study with some ladies I had just met at my church. As we met for the first study and were introducing ourselves, I talked about wanting to start my photography business. As I talked, I noticed one woman smiling giddily. Turns out she owned her own photography business but had recently felt like God was calling her in a new direction and was closing her business. In one week, not only did God provide a way for me to get the camera and equipment I needed, but he also provided me with a great mentor. And not just any mentor, but a Godly woman with a disciples heart. All of a sudden, it became so clear to me what God was telling me. I am a photographer. And that other stuff? The doubts and discouragement? None of that matters because when God wants you to accomplish something, he will provide the way.

     So, here I am. With a new camera (professional), business cards (and a lot of other business stuff), and faith that God is going to fill up my open calendar with photography sessions. This journey is not over yet, but I am trusting that God has me right where he wants me.

p.s. Keep an eye open, because things are going to start looking different around here as I spruce up the blog!